What if everything you wanted was 10 days away?

When things are the messiest, you're exactly where you need to be.

Six days ago, I was sobbing on the sidewalks of Astoria.

I was severely feeling the weight of adulthood, and from carrying my dog, who has not been able to walk because of a patella injury she obtained from god knows what.

There’s a theory that when things are great, you randomly have a car issue.

Well, I live in New York City, so a dog issue is the next best thing, I guess.

via Pinterest @jrinalds

Since I turned twenty-seven less than two months ago, my life has taken some turns, specifically in my career.

Stepping into this new chapter and third year of being self-employed, I’m more confident and trust myself more than ever before. I’ve gotten comfortable with the idea of change, mastering the pivot, and becoming an expert at whatever I put my mind to.

For a long time, I thought that growing familiar with those attributes would one day bring me what I truly want: consistency and groundedness.

It takes a certain type of person to imagine, create, and build a lane that’s never existed.

It takes dedication to the goal, thousands of hours of getting better, missing experiences with loved ones, forfeiting sleep, and constructing a road to drive on to get to the riches.

As a businessperson, especially a creative one, there’s no 4-year curriculum to complete that guarantees a diploma and job.

There’s no guru or coach that will guide you through a rocky-less journey.

And there damn sure isn’t a one-size-fits-all online course that’ll lead you to your destination issue-free.

It’s a combination of disconnecting from a timeline, being present, constantly collecting and applying feedback, and never losing faith.

It’s not easy, nor is it impossible.

At the end of February, I was close to completing many of the goals I set for myself for Q1, and by the beginning of March, everything changed. For the rest of the month, I held it together, pivoted, went without in some areas of life, and did what I needed to keep moving forward.

However, on March 31st in Queens, New York, after that super unexpected vet visit, I finally cracked.

It was a very woe-is-me moment.

Until it was calm.

And then I felt gratitude.

Gratitude for having got this far.

Gratitude for being resilient.

Gratitude for the dream life that I’m constantly making sacrifices for.

Years ago, it was a dream for me to be exactly where I am today. Years from now, my only memory of the Astoria meltdown will be this newsletter, probably being read from my freestanding bathtub with a glass-ceiling perfectly placed under the sun and moon.

My episode in Astoria reminded me that I didn’t come this far just to come this far, that it’s okay to have moments of sadness, and that I’m closer than I’ve ever been before.

When I was sitting on a bench on a busy sidewalk, I saw my teary-eyed reflection in the Foot Locker window.

To clean the closet, you must make a mess first.

Which blared through my mind like a principal’s intercom announcement.

My mess had been unfolding for the past five weeks, opening me up to different avenues and allowing me to set new goals and see results.

I learned that something really good will always be followed by something not so good and vice versa.

It’s what makes the positive things so powerful.

It’s a law of the universe.

It’s duality.

It’s a reminder that I’m in the vicinity and that whatever I desire is only hours, days, moments away—and not to stop until I get there.

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