Poor Things & the Significance of Reparenting Yourself
I watched Poor Things and my mind has been reprogrammed.
Spoiler Alert: This newsletter contains spoilers from the film Poor Things.
Poor Things is about a woman who is brought back to life via a brain transplant and sets out on a worldwide adventure with a lawyer to discover herself. Some of the film’s themes include breaking free from societal norms and cycles, freedom, women’s liberation, and reparenting yourself. The 2-hour 21-minute runtime takes you on a journey from early childhood to adulthood—sort of like Boyhood.
Emma Stone, if you’re reading this, your performance was astounding.
Reparenting
Reparenting is a therapeutic technique that helps people understand unhealthy patterns of communication and behavior that were picked up during childhood.
Usually, things referred to as ‘triggers’ are the behaviors we need to unpack and heal from.
Reparenting involves deep self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and the ability to self-soothe.
This technique could take years to master, but you will be enlightened by emotional healing and overall well-being as you transform.
Take What Resonates
While the trailers don’t say much about films these days, I knew I would be uncomfortable watching this film—and to my surprise, I felt… liberated.
Throughout most of the film, Bella Baxter sees the world without seeing how the world views her. This gives her a freedom many envied yet couldn’t keep her from. As she traverses through life, her innate actions are constantly being challenged by others for not integrating into ‘polite society.’
Bella Baxter kept her wit about her. She was very blunt and often spot-on about people’s intentions and the direction she saw the relationship heading. Throughout the film, she knew when to leave a situation that no longer served her, allowing her to live a complete life.
Reparenting is recognizing what serves you and doesn’t and using that knowledge to live fully.
Though tuning out the noise from the world can be difficult, it’s crucial.
A New Perspective
For over half of the movie, Bella is naive to her privilege and the reality that not everyone has it. But once she became aware of this, we (the audience and Bella herself) saw that she was more than just curious. She was finally able to see why some people have the negative traits that they do.
Having this new knowledge, she finds that her life purpose is to help people.
When you take the necessary steps to reparent yourself, you’re typically mindful of new situations that could taint your experience. But, like Bella, it’s vital to use these difficulties as a tool to understand and navigate your end goal. Life will constantly throw curveballs, unlock new triggers, and bring about roadblocks, but these obstacles are critical for maximum self-development.
In life, growth is constant, whether it be in the direction of success or assholery.
Marry Your Youth With Your Present Self
Finally, Poor Things showed me the importance of using your life lessons as breakthroughs rather than hang-ups.
From a young (mental) age, Bella knew that exploring her sexuality was meaningful for her self-discovery. Most people in Bella’s life tried to make her feel shame for this, but she stayed headstrong.
Most of us have been put to shame by our innate actions, which mold us into society during our quest to stick out. No two people live the same life, and trying to fit into a mold not created for you deprives the world of your true gifts. Although judgment may be daunting, individuality is a superpower.
Reparent yourself to be the most authentic you.
And stick out.
Like a sore thumb.