Mirror Mirror

When you get what you want, then you have to live with it.

I wouldn’t call them nerves, but I wouldn’t not call them those.

I was going out for the first time with a pretty man—not going out with a pretty man for the first time.

I wasn’t going on my first date with a successful or confident one either, so why was my brain othering this random person?

To this day, I still don’t know.

I asked the Uber driver if we could ride in silence on the way to dinner. The sound of the potholey roads was quite meditative. When my mind would begin to roleplay our upcoming interactions, I would count clouds. It took the entire 20-minute car ride, but I finally found tranquility seconds before pulling up to the entrance.

Hey, I just got seated. Very back on the left. Cole texted the minute I approached the hostess stand.

With every step I took toward our table, I grew in confidence. Frankly, because the alternative option was ass. I gallivanted through the restaurant like Emily did throughout Paris, and the feeling was like a drug.

Once I noticed him, he was already looking at me. It felt good to be seen, daunting, but good.

Our first date was our first real interaction, and I always wondered if that was purposeful. He was serious but not uptight. I knew he knew exactly what he wanted based on how he spoke. Judging by the eye contact, the interest in my life, the thoughtfulness in his answers, and the arrangement of the night, I felt that what he wanted was me.