Late Mid-20s.
Is this the point where one chill's out and life flows better?
The last few weeks of my 26th year felt like a hazing.
There were many universal tests to determine whether I was still a people-pleaser or had learned to use my voice.
I’d say I got a B+.
There were many universal tests to determine whether I have faith that my prayers will be answered or have chosen worry and victimhood instead.
…I’m still being tested, but I didn’t come this far just to come this far.
As I step into this new phase of life, it’s becoming abundantly clear that things I’ve worried about in the past will always find a way to resurface. And even though I am leveling up, there will be moments where I dip below my new heights.
I’ve learned that it’s always a good idea to have the uncomfortable conversation. And that everyone deserves a second chance.
I realized just how many times my stance changed on a particular topic throughout a singular week, that I should never make impulse decisions, and how to manage the small things that keep me indecisive.
Like when I go to a restaurant to tend to a craving, but find something else on the menu that I might like when I get there. The short answer is to never deviate from the craving. As miniscule as it may sound, I learned that making those tiny, impulsive changes affects the way I trust myself. There’s nothing worse than getting right next to the thing I want and switching up at the last second for something that is a disappointment.
I’m aware enough to know that my breath grows shallow when I’m ruminating on certain thoughts for too long.
I’m cognizant of what feeds my soul and what doesn’t. I even recognize the things that might feed me today but not next week or month.
Most importantly, I understand that I only know 0.00018% of things, which is an improvement from years before, but certainly not enough to move through life as a master.
I’m learning that this new phase is implementing all of life’s previous lessons but leaving room to learn more.
It’s realizing when things are past their expiration date and letting them go with ease.
It’s allowing my intuition to guide me and allowing myself to change my mind.
It’s knowing my boundaries and making them known so that I can feel safe enough to love unconditionally.
It’s understanding that I don’t know what I don’t know, but having faith that the trust I’ve fostered within myself will take me to amazing places.
The mid-late 20s isn’t the start or end of a decade, but it’s a phase of life I’ll never be in again.
And for that, I will soak it up, bask in it, and grow in it, so that the next time I’m asked, “Where do you want to be in five years?” I will at least know what she feels like—because that baddie is my role model.
