I'll just be thinking about you...

Mixed signals are for p*ssies.

Some games are being played that I’ve seen before.

Sure, they’re more subtle.

Yes, these games feel more mature.

But I refuse to become an anxiously attached person running behind you.

Pinterest @dawn_denius ‘He loves me, he loves me not.’

I apologize for not warning you about my copious amount of rizz. I know you weren’t expecting to hit the lottery when you met me. Yet, you have—and we’re here.

Warning: You don’t have many more opportunities to get right… because if not, you’ll be left.

I’m far too moody [on my own] to play your hot-and-cold games. So, I’ll give you space to flow through your emotions while I sit back and think about you.

I’ll think about how adorably effortless you made our first rendezvous, our many similar interests, witty banter, and steamy chemistry.

I’ll think about how you introduced to me a vibe you have not been fully maintaining, how painfully obvious it is that you’re “trying to play it cool,” and how my patience is running thin.

You’re someone who excites me. You’re someone with a level of ambition that I admire. And you’re someone staring at a mirror when you look at me.

When I look in mirrors, I usually like what I see, but I’m trying to determine if you feel that way too.

I know you enjoy my presence, dig for my laughter, and read my messages as soon as you receive them.

I know you don’t like it when I wait just as long as you to respond, let your silly little mind games “go over my head,” and apply pressure to the fires you ignite.

You flip-flop between being vulnerable and being stoic because you’re hellbent on upholding some macho image that I saw through ages ago.

Trying to catch feelings safely, but that’s impossible—and you look silly. Respectfully.

Knock, knock. You’re naked—and I see you.

So when you flip, I flop. When you decide to drive 25 mph down the highway of love today and 75 tomorrow, I’m following your lead, baby.

I like you, but I refuse to coddle a romantic partner who’s scared to deal with their emotions. I’ve put that pressure on others before, and that has 0% nutritional value.

So, while you deal with that, I’ll just be thinking about you.

I’ll be journaling out my thoughts to regulate my emotions. I’ll be meditating regularly to adopt presence.

I’ll be attending workout classes and going on runs to clear my mind, improving my writing career, staying consistent with my hobbies, and creating more streams of income.

I’ll be pouring into my family and friends, cooking better food, and even getting hotter.

Because the more I think about you, I wonder if our best moments have already passed us by. I wonder if sticking around until you’re comfortable is worth my time and if you’re actually the long-term partner for me.

When I pull it out of you, you communicate the way I like. But shortly after, you run back to your shell.

I realize that my directness may still shock you. Most people aren’t—and that includes you.

I understand that you may not have expected to face messy emotions or know how to express them.

I feel for you.

I recognize you.

But I won’t keep waiting for you.

I have a life to live, too.

Pinterest @evrb2012 ‘Imaginary Love”

So, that’s enough ruminating on your emotions.

I can only have sympathy for someone who didn’t ask for my empathy for so long.

Or maybe you’re getting exactly what you wanted— me just sitting here thinking about you.