How to Appreciate

Maybe life's grandest moments aren't grand at all but tiny, quiet, and sprinkled all around.

I’m sitting on an air mattress, on the floor, feeling like the universe is having its way with me. I never expected to be in this moment. Honestly, I don’t have time to expect anything anymore. Where I want to be is yet to happen, but it feels like life is moving just as quickly as Earth is spinning on its axis.

I’m not sure if it’s because my ass has a few centimeters of air and cloth between it and the ground, but this is the first time in months I’ve slowed down to observe my place in life.

Trying to retrace my steps to figure out how I got here seems beneath me. Being on this air mattress does too. But for some weird reason, this specific moment feels euphoric.

The sun is shining a little brighter through my white sheer curtains, the air is a little more crisp in my tiny room, and my four-legged son is curled up next to me like an angel reminding me that I’m always loved.

Something about this moment feels like a turning point.

Every celebrity that’s ever had a biography series or movie has spoken about sleeping on an air mattress on the floor—and here I am—doing that.

My accolades must be around the corner.

I throw on sweats and a scarf and go for a walk.

The moment I step outside I see a leaf spiraling down from the tree outside my building door. This must be a message from the cosmos telling me things are falling into place according to schedule.

As I walk down the street, I notice it’s more peaceful than usual. There aren’t any ambulances or angry drivers honking down the road, everyone who passes on the sidewalk tosses a smile, and the birds harmonize as if they were classically trained.

As I walk down the street, the urge to question why I feel happiness or where it came from dissipates. Maybe I could never truly feel this way because I questioned the magic of life. And maybe everything I’ve ever done has led me to this exact moment of fulfillment.

Maybe life’s best moments aren’t the massive ones, but the tiny pockets of sunshiny bliss embedded into the day.