Hopefully, You're Well

A message to someone who can stop taking up real estate in my head now.

It’s been a long time since you’ve crossed my mind.

So long that I don’t even know where the thought of you came from.

I’m far past picturing you tagging along with me for new experiences or wanting to share my day with you.

I’ve released my head of our memories, and my camera roll, too.

We don’t even share contact information or reside on the same coast anymore.

At the time, I didn’t realize you were befriending my ego with your “just checking up on you” texts. I can’t believe you got me like that, with your smart ass. Now, I’ll never reach out to see how you’re doing and I’ve tried to limit the chance of you doing that to me.

In every way possible, I left you right where we left off, yet you’re here.

I never told you this, but I think I manifested you.

Weeks before you came into my life, I thought about you, smelled you, felt you, but I didn’t know you.

I think that’s the reason I held on so tight, too.

You were so similar to everything I wanted, but as we know, it still wasn’t the right fit.

The time we spent in each other’s lives was the same amount of time it took to let you go, and damn was that hard for me.

But you suddenly living rent-free in my mind, when there’s been no sign of you for ages, is throwing me.

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I’m far past thinking we’ll find our way back to each other.

I used to daydream about our second meet cute. It’d always be in a grocery store and we’d both feel like it was fate. But that was the issue with you and me. Or, I guess me. You didn’t live in my fantasy world, too.

I came to terms with the fact that I probably wasn’t in your imagination the way you were in mine. This could be why I felt we weren’t on the same page. I had to realize you were in my life to teach me lessons and send me on my way.

I thought our friendship was more real, our souls were better connected, and we shared many of the same feelings. But our last interaction set me straight. In fact, it hit me so damn hard that my rose-colored glasses went flying and have been lost ever since… for everyone.

Somehow, many years later, I feel I’ve returned to square one.

Everything keeps reminding me of you. I’ve smelled you once and felt you thrice, but I’ve never seen you without my glasses. I don’t know that I’m ready to.

And while I’ve grown into a person you don’t know anymore, my fairytale world still stands tall. It won’t let me believe I share these feelings alone.

So here’s my “just checking up on you” text.

Hopefully, you’re well.