Holding Your Tongue Is Holding You Back

Yes, babes, delivery matters.

A couple of weeks ago, I got into a very intense argument that seemingly spawned from thin air. Once it wasn’t as fresh and I was finished thinking about alternate ways I could have clapped back, I realized that this kerfuffle had likely been brewing for weeks, possibly months. Truthfully, I’m still in shock by the verbal boxing match. However, I realized it got so egregious because neither of us had spoken up earlier.

25-year-old me was okay with being the villain in someone’s group chat.

But—I’m 26 now.

And I don’t know who that fiesty quarreler is.

Speak Up Or Lose Sleep

I know you’ve laid awake in bed deep into the night, thinking about how that little sneak diss from your co-worker pierced through your blazer.

And if you haven’t, well, how does privilege feel?

When people say things that evoke a reaction in you, this causes an emotion, also known as energy in motion. If you repress these emotions, i.e. hold your tongue, that energy has nowhere to go. A physical example of this is when kids (me) used to put Mentos in a Coca-Cola bottle, quickly put the lid on, and then watch the entire thing explode. You either explode in an argument (or physical fight if you’re ‘bout that life), cause dis-ease in the body from the constant build-up, or rehearse an award-winning comeback for 30 minutes in the shower seven days in a row that will never be used.

The more you push off addressing a situation that continues to erect, the longer this energy will linger.

Speak Up Or Suck At Relationships

I have held my tongue and let my freak flag fly in relationships, platonic and romantic, and I can attest they both disintegrated equally.

The people who are meant to be in your life will stay, and those who are meant to go will go.