Everyone is lying all the time.
Why I’m never listening to a person’s words again.
Living in a world where 50% of people are chronic people pleasers and the other 50% say what they think the other party wants to hear is… venomous.
Unfortunately, adulthood has been a game of mental gymnastics and broken promises, which everyone, unknowingly, has subscribed to.
Was the class on high self-esteem for teens and young adults at capacity?
When can I enroll in Non-Verbal Communication 101 for Grown-Ups?
Do people who are fluent in this language actually exist?
@TheUniverse, I know you like to take things literally, so please do not send a PhD candidate narcissist in my direction for a crash course.
I’m just now coming out of the hole I fell into dealing with decades of inauthenticity and contempt, not realizing their disrespect isn’t free. The only form of payment accepted is self-respect, and the return on investment is garbage.
Over the years, I’ve created a self-guided curriculum to navigate human connection and non-verbal cues to remain emotionally regulated. Although new lessons are never-ending, it would be a disservice to gatekeep my findings.
The Silent Side-Eye(r): It’s important to be observant in one way or another to know when this action is coming into play. When someone is giving the silent side-eye, they’re likely clapping with the crowd while feeling disdain, and that’s where the non-verbal communication speaks volumes. I’ve observed:
Eye-rolling while receiving accolades
Quickly changing the subject when expressing something positive (i.e., a new opportunity, being recognized in a pragmatic light, or anything involving leveling up)
Feeling drained or low after multiple interactions, even if they seemed positive
These types of people are the worst because I’m required to dig into the past to find context clues that affirm my intuition, monitor how they speak about others, and turn on the spiritual part of my brain to determine why my stomach has been hurting.
The Entertainment Pimp: If someone has a lovingly toxic relationship with spotlight, they will always strive to be in it and use those closest to them as the lighting guy(s). This looks like:
Making a joke, in front of a crowd, at the expense of someone else
A “friend” being quick to laugh with others when something unideal happens
Using experiences that are not their own to connect with a group of people (person) that have no business knowing that information
And don’t get me started about a bitch that tells her man your secrets so they can gossip about you over their dinner rather than address the fact that they’ve overstayed the relationship by several years.
The Generosity Police (another trickster): This person comes off sweet, open, and vulnerable, but it’s later revealed that those actions were calculated.
I’m a very slow mover when it comes to friendships and relationships. The reason being that I feel things heavily, and I don’t have time to drag myself out of a trauma bond, especially for a hoe I don’t know.
People are waking up to this archetype, but for those who haven’t, the signs are:
People who open up about troubling life experiences immediately, possibly even shedding tears at the first hangout, and expect similar details to be shared directly after they’re finished
Those who do nice things or buy nice gifts ‘out of the kindness of their hearts’, but are quick to mention those possessions would’ve never been obtained without them
Individuals who, again, do things ‘out of the kindness of their heart’, but have secretly been keeping score, and, like clockwork, use this as a reference point at their earliest convenience
I’ve been a tit-for-tat kind of girl in the past, which is another reason I know the archetype well. It never did me any good to be ‘kind’ only in hopes of receiving kindness back. In fact, it made me even more of a c*nt—and not in a good way.
Okay, do I believe everyone on Earth is a liar? No.
Do I believe people are intentionally living life unauthentically? Also, no.
But I do believe that in order to protect myself, I will always have to use some level of discernment with those I do and don’t know.
I believe many people consider others before they consider themselves, even if it’s to their own detriment, leaving them feeling empty.
As a conscious adult, my goal is to help those I’m forming connections with align their actions with their words so I can continue building genuine relationships with them and myself.
Truth be told, self-esteem and non-verbal communication 101 is in session, and there’s a new professor in town. 🤠
